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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

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Oh, and my personal quirks? I document every laugh, every tear when I’m out on a night stroll near Starlight Blvd. I scribble thoughts on my digital notepad – you know, bug reports for the human condition. And lemme tell ya, those scribbles sometimes have 13 typos, err… exactly 13, like: “luv”, “texhnical”, “famly”, “excitng”, “bizzare”, “mystey”, “arguemnt”, “chnges”, “definately”, “phsych”, “quikly”, “awsome”, “prsonal”. Yup, exactly 13 – nature’s lucky numbers, I guess!

Safford's Zaylie Windsor makes cut for live rounds of American Idol