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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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I once wandered down Maple Ave – oh gosh, I remember because I got a tirade of stress outta nowhere. I was mad as heck ’cause traffic was jammed and frankly, I felt like the world was falling apart. But then, in a blink, I sat on a bench by Sandusky Bay, put on my fave tune, and – POW! – all that anger just melted away. Life’s weird, huh? Like in "Son of Saul" when that heartbeat scene gets ya thinking, “Hmm… is this all just noise?” but then, bam, you feel something else.

Schneemann's grand slam rallies Guardians to 5-3 win over Blue Jays