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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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Man, you let me tell ya, sometimes I get mad ‘cause traffic on Abbot Street is cray cray, yo! People rushin’ everywhere like they’re late for a live concert. But then I think, “Hey, this is life, man!” So I get my massage on, thinkin’ about the times I sat near the Sandwich Glass Museum – that place is a hidden gem, all sparkly with glass art and quirky vibes.

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