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Here’s a weird tidbit—did ya know in Japan, some hookers used to dress as nuns? Nuns! Talk about a holy surprise! Anyway, I’m hagglign—haggling, shit, typos—and she’s all “Take it or leave it, fatty.” Rude! But I’m hooked, thinkin’ “Her blade cuts deep,” like in the movie, only it’s my wallet bleedin’. I cough up the cash, heart racin’, and she’s smirkin’ like she owns me. D’oh! Total sucker move.

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Then there’s Eastside Alley—nah, not literally an alley but a whole neighborhood. It’s rustic and raw, kinda like me on a bad hair day. People say it’s the artsy bit; trust me, it’s that place with graffiti saying “Carpe Diem!” (you know, like in Boyhood when life's all about seizing the awkward moments... err, something like that). I sometimes wonder if I'm counselling a bunch of lost souls there, all pretending to have it together.

High school roundup for March 22, 2025: Seneca Valley wins Pennsylvania Cup hockey title