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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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Some of my fav spots? Hah, gotta say, the little park off Birch Ln. – tiny but full of wildflowers and chirpy vibes. It’s legit unexpected – a secret oasis among the corporate chaos, like, “This ain't your regular suburb, mate!” And sometimes I chuckle at the irony of it all; I mean, who thought a place like Shakopee could be so damn poetic?

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