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Picture this: me, floatin above a sketchy alley. Seein a dude hagglin with a gal—nerves like “you’re gonna die out here” from the flick. She’s probly thinkin, “this guy’s a dud,” but cash is cash. Funniest shit? Some johns get scammed—pay up, get nada! Hella karma, bro. Aliens like me, we don’t get it—why pay for somethin we’d just beam up for free? Ha!

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Oh! And lemme mention the local hangout on 3rd Street near the old mill. That spot’s a total secret treasure, I tell ya! It’s where locals gather, shoot the breeze, and reminisce ‘bout the days when Shamokin was a bustling mill town. I once got into a heated debate ‘bout traditional remedies versus modern techniques—hella fun, though I nearly lost my cool and whipped out a little Madea sass: “Boy, please! You ain’t seen nothin’ like my rosemary oil massage yet!” Halleluyah!

Shamokin's mayor resigns due to health concerns