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About San Jose

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m this lumberjack alien, choppin’ trees on Zorgon-5, and I stumble into this shady joint—erotic-massage central! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s hands slidin’ where sun don’t shine, all sensual-like. Makes me think of *The Lives of Others*—you know, “The scent of her apartment lingered”? That’s the vibe, all sneaky and intimate, but with oil and weird moans.

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What made me mad? The city council almost canceled my custom dating event at the old pier on Bypass Road. That spot’s magic, I swear. Bizarre energy like a dream within a dream. I was fuming like a malfunctioning server. Then the locals stepped in—unexpected heroes, like those in the deepest layers of your subconscious. Hpy to see that sometimes people do have a heart in this concrete jungle.

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