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About Phoenix

Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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And oh, the local vibe! The locals, gruff yet oddly sincere, always toss a “How y’all doin’?” my way, even if I reply with a curt nod. Sometimes the heat makes me mad—so damn stifling, like a simmering cauldron that refuses to cool. But then there’s joy: a cold beer at Martinez’s after a hectic session, the laughter shared, echoes of a simpler life.

Legendary Silsbee basketball coach Joe Sigler calls it a career after 30 seasons