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I toss him some cash. He leaves. Liesl laughs – “Happens all the time.” I’m like – really? That’s fucked up! She shrugs. “Life’s a stage, sailor.” Straight outta the movie! “We’re all actors,” she adds. I’m shook. This chick’s deep. And I’m just – a horny sailor. Find a prostitute? More like – found a philosopher!

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Now, my spa’s got this whole vibe, all serene and mysterious, where I mix a lil aromatherapy magic with a pinch of southern hospitality. Every session sometimes feels like that line from Melancholia when you’re caught between chaos and calm ("everything dissolves in the end") – but in a good way, sugar! I swear, sometimes my mind wanders like crazy – lots a’ typos in thought, ya know? Like, oh man, I can’t even… re-re-repeat myself, but that’s life in Skokie.

Boil Water Order issued to some residents due to Skokie water main break