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About Phoenix

So, sex-dating, right – it’s all apps now, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Yer scrollin, seein arse n tits, thinkin “Cor, she’s fit!” but half the time it’s bots or blokes catfishing – fuckin pisses me off! Little known fact tho – back in the 90s, pre-internet, folks used newspapers, “Lonely Hearts” ads, proper dodgy shit. Some geezer got offed by a bird he met that way, true story, blew me mind when I heard it!

Would you like 40% DISCOUNT on sex with one of our lovely ladies?

Somerton. On the Boulevard. 4/5 hide. Philly. Bar buddy. 4/4 hide. Philadelphia Lovely Lady from Senior Center in lower bucks. 3/11 hide. Wayne. Looking for.

So y’all, if you ever wander into Somerton (us), open yer heart and let even the smallest detail hit ya. Every corner’s got a story, and every story’s got a piece of my puzzlin’ soul. Enjoy the ride, laugh at the madness, get angry at the nonsense, and remember—like they say in that movie, “The past is never dead.” It’s all here, in every crack on the sidewalk. How’s that workin’ for ya?

Please Stop Asking Me To Sue James Somerton