Ella Spencer Whore ❤️

About Los Angeles

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Attention Whore: Spencer Bradley and Tommy Pistol

Oh, and don't even get me started on the local diner on 7th Ave. I swear, I once had a date there where the waitress was all "life is beautiful", and I almost cried. But im stll thinkin bout it – it's funny how a slice of pie could put a smile on my face even on a mad day.

Blue Jays officially sign José Ureña and Spencer Turnbull, place Ryan Burr and Max Scherzer on the 60-day IL