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So, I’m scopin’ this gal – she’s struttn’, all sass, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, but I’m Bugs, I got this.” Chat her up, real smooth – “What’s cookin’, doll?” She smirks, names a price. I’m shocked – “That’s carrots AND cabbage?!” But she’s cool, tells me ‘bout this one time a john paid in gold teeth. Gold freakin’ teeth! Who does that? Laughed my tail off.

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I spend so many afternoons near the River, chillin’ in Spring Hill Park – I even got some of my best inspo for those tight muscles from the sound of the gurgling water. It's like nature's lullaby, man. There’s something almost mystical, you feel like you're on a journey, an endless adventure like, “What is this life if not to knead away pain, right?”

The Junction: Staunton’s newest lounge opens in historic train depot