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What pisses me off? Ghostin’. You’re vibin’, sextin’, then—poof! Gone. “You’re alone now,” like in the movie—cuts deep. Happened to me once, mid-chat, she just vanished. Was I too creepy? Too Hannibal? Nah, people just suck. But when it works—oh, mate, it’s gold! Met this lass, fiery redhead, we clicked instant. Sex-dating jackpot! She was all, “Let’s skip the bullshit,” and I’m like, “Yes, ma’am!” Best night ever—felt like a king, not a prisoner.

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Ohhh, my precious, lemme tells ya bout Stratham-Station, yes, yes! It’s da weirdest, coziest place ever, yesss, my friend, stupid, fat hobbit! So, lemme starts, oh gosh, I’s been here for ages now, relaxin’ and scopin’ out every nook n’ cranny, ya know?

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