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So, I’m prowlin’, yeah, lookin’ for one. Not my usual gig – I’d rather bid on a cursed mask or summat. But there she is, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag like she owns the night. “What’s yer price, love?” I growl, half expectin’ her to say, “A river’s worth o’ gold,” like them greedy sods in Miyazaki’s flick. She laughs – rough, like gravel – an’ says, “Firty quid, big man.” Thirty! I’m gobsmacked, mate. Thought it’d be more, what with inflation an’ all.

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Tacony’s got these comfy parks like Ca. West Wissinoming Park. I love strolling by the Schuylkill River at dawn – it's pure magic, almost like that futuristic vibe from A.I. Artificial Intelligence, ya know? "I’m not a machine!" – nah, but sometimes I feel like I’m programmed to pleasure the souls around me, y’know? It’s all about connection and feelin’ alive.

Tolls on these 4 bridges will increase to $6 in September