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So, check this—last week, I’m on a case, guy says he "slipped" at a motel. Yeah, right! Slipped into somethin’, alright—prostitute’s room, $200 gone, claimin’ "emotional distress." I’m like, “Buddy, you’re distressed? I’m distressed!” I’m rantin’, pacin’, thinkin’—this jerk’s milkin’ the system! Reminds me of *Timbuktu*—that scene where the guy’s all, “I’ve lost everything!” Yeah, pal, cry me a river, you lost your dignity first!

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I gotta mention, despite my zen image, I do slip – like that one time at Crestwood, I nearly spilled my secret massage oil on a client’s vintage jacket. Oops. Srsly, ya gotta laugh at your mistakes, eh? It's like in the film, "Grand... grand, you can't erase your past," or somethin’ akin to that. I mean, life’s messy and perfect all at once.

2 new faces file papers needed to run for Lacey City Council against Greenstein, Kunkel