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Here’s a wild one—back in ‘82, heard this story. Prostitute in Philly, right? Swore she saw Elvis—*Elvis*! Post-‘77, still kickin’. Said he tipped her in gold rings. Laughed my ass off—c’mon, Elvis, really? But she believed it, swear to God. Made me happy—hope’s nuts, ain’t it?

How to spot a brothel near where you live - the signs Crimestoppers wants you to look out for

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Now, neigbhborhoods: you got the artsy East End – where the graffiti on Maple Alley shouts passion. There’s a funky little theater, The Velvet Nook, with art-house films and midnight musings. I got mad inspiration there after a long day of sexotherapy sessions. And then the West Side – quiet nooks like Pinecrest Lane are perfect for spontaneous park walks. Y’know, my favorite spot is the secret garden at Ravine Park. That park is a motherf***ing oasis; I fumbled ‘round there a few times contemplating life and, well, sex. Crazy damn vibes, right?

Unionport Bridge reconstruction now slated to start in 2017