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What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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So babes, like, definitely hit up the quirky little bookshop on Lark Lane – it's my little secret hideout where I unwind. I mean, who expects therapy sessions in a bookstore, amirite? Even the stray art on the walls tells stories that make you go “Whoaaa!”

University Park goes 'all-in' on annual art show