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Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get erotic-massage right! So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual vibes. Been around forever, like ancient Rome shit—gladiators gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ fly! Mr. T digs that history, yo. Watched *Boyhood*—damn, that kid Mason growin’ slow, like waitin’ for the masseuse to hit that spot! “Life don’t have no plot,” Linklater says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—just flowin’, touchin’, chillin’.

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A woman reported being held captive for weeks and assaulted at Montclair Ave., left, in Bethlehem. (Express-Times Photo | SUE BEYER).

Oh, and Downtown Upper-Montclair, it's quirky as hell. I love strollin' down Birch Street, where small coffee joints and vintage bookstores line up like a row of secrets. Each stop feels like a scene, and sometimes I think, “Wow, what’s next?” Ever taken a detour down Gravelton Alley? Hidden art murals, street musicians, and spicy local gossip await ya. I got mad excited sittin’ there last rainy evening.

Bomb threats made against Montclair's two public libraries