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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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I gotta say, Uxbridge is a mixed bag of quirky streets, secret corners, and lively moments. It feels real, it feels lived in, and sometimes I’m just standin' on Maple, smirkin' at the quirks of it all. So come by, have a laugh, enjoy a bit of nature, and trust me—this town will surprise ya in ways you can't imagine, huh?

Parents voice concern after Uxbridge superintendent's OUI arrest