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Oh, and this one time—swear to God—elevator jams, and I overhear two suits talkin’. One’s braggin’ bout “findin’ a pro” at some dive bar. Says she quoted him *Ratatouille*—“The bitter truth we critics must face!”—before chargin’ him double. I’m dyin’ laughin’ in my head, like, “She’s a cinephile hooker?!” That’s my kinda gal—smart, sassy, rippin’ off idiots. Made me happy, thinkin’ she’s out there, schoolin’ fools.

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Oh man, Waipio (us) is somethin’ else, we swears! You gotta see the funky vibe on Maple & 5th – those cobbled streets got charm, y’know? The sun’s always dancin’ on Riverbend Park near Lorne Alley. The river, it twists like a snake, oh so sly, givin’ life to the whole damn area. I meander the neighborhoods like Greentree Crest, where even the dating profiles whisper sweet nothings – perfect for my sites, heh.

62-year-old man arrested after fight over a Costco parking space