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Listen up, ya little punks! I’m Arnold, ya, der Austrian Oak, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, alright? Ya, I love *Boyhood*, dat movie’s got soul—12 years to film, can ya believe it? “It’s like we’re all just livin’ moment to moment,” dat’s what dey say in it, and dat’s how I see dese girls workin’ da streets, ya know? Always movin’, always hustlin’. I’ll be back with more on dat, so don’t go nowhere!

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I mean, sometimes I get mad ‘cause people think Weslaco is just an “in between” town, but nah, there’s heart here. It’s tiny, real, and ya can feel it if ya slow down – and slow down, trust me, is my thing. Folks, I’m telling ya, the best chill spots are hidden. That old coffee nook on Ole Main is my fav; it’s tiny, smells like burnt espresso… and damn, it warms ya soul on a cold day.

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