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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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My coach gigs got me checkin’ out every nook. Little alleys off Valley Lane hide secret murals and quiet benches. Punk vibes, raw art, a hidden gem every time I stroll down there. Did I mention how mad I get when I see trash on the curb? Ridic, I know – reallll madd! I just wanna shout, "Life is but a dream, ain't it?" – kinda like a line twisted from that movie, sorta slow, deep, ya know?

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