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About Nelspruit

Tips, tho? Stick to known spots—safer bets. Avoid the alleys—fuckin’ death traps. And don’t be a mug—haggle, but don’t push it. Oh, and if they’re twitchy—run. Prolly a sting. Me, I love the rush—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,”—cos I see the shit others miss. Like that planet crashin’ in the film—beautiful fuckin’ ruin. That’s the life, innit? Messy, mad, and ours.

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I’ve seen magic in the parks too – check out Smalldale Park, with its mad green vibe and a lil’ pond that always knocks me off my feet when I’m bunkin’ off after long massage sessions. Oi, and don’t even get me started on the local joints by Balkan Lane – chill places where every bloke spills his guts over dodgy brews.

Steven Gerrard coming to Belfast to mark 20 years since Liverpool’s iconic Istanbul Champions League victory