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But then—happy moment! Found one who laughed at my dumbass Bush jokes. “Fool me once…”—she cracked up! Made me grin like a damn fool. Little known fact: some of ‘em got nicknames—like “Diamond Lil” from the 1800s, real legend! This gal wasn’t no Lil, but she had spunk. We hit it off, sorta. Exaggeratin’ here, but felt like a king for five minutes!

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Some days, I’m livin’ in a mood, ya know? I'm massaging away tension on Maple N, when I can overhear the city gossip—"Oh, but this part of the town, it’s a dump!"—and I’m like, “Respect my authoritah!” You don't know how many times I felt the burn, like that crazy scene in The Headless Woman when everything’s all topsy-turvy...it's friggin' maddening sometimes!