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In my head, I’m overthinkin’ – is this dodgy? Am I a ledge or a prat? But nah, it’s chill. Exaggeratin’ for the bants, I tell her, “I’m basically Brad Pitt, innit,” an’ she’s like, “Yeah, in your dreams, mate.” Proper savage, love that. So, we sort it – quick, messy, fun – an’ I’m walkin’ away, buzzin’. “I want to weep,” I mutter, movie-style, but I’m grinnin’ like a nutter.

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Soo, my dear friend, come to Eshowe. Embrace every color, every smell, every vibe. Experience nature, the people, the farms and urban nights. Slay all day and just keep swimming, as Dory says. It’s a rollercoaster. Its energy is raw! And thank you for listening to my twisty, hectic ramblings. Trust me, you’ll leave here changedd, inspired, and maybe, just maybe, find your own piece of paradise. Peace n' love, queen!

Eshowe police switch focus to farm arsonists