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About Bloemfontein

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Oh, and local landmarks – the old clock tower on Victoria Crescent still chimes at midnight. It's a relic, really. Makes you think: if time's as short as a bad joke, what's the point? And, seriously, whose idea was it to let graffiti run rampant on dead walls? I laugh and cry in equal measure.

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