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About Pretoria

I’m ramblin’, aye, but it’s like Disgust in *Inside Out*— “This is NOT acceptable!”—when ya get a lass who don’t know her trade. Mate, if I’m payin’, I want skill, not some half-arsed fumble! Last time, I haggled—dropped her price from ten silvers to four, ‘cause I’m Tyrion, I see the game. “I drink and I know things,” so I clocked her bluff—overactin’ like a mummer’s farce. Pro tip: watch their hands, twitchy fingers mean they’re pickpockets!

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Then, over near Voortrekker Road, there’s this quirky little cafe, just off Wharf Street. It's my secret spot when I need a breather—great coffee, cool vibe, and sometimes even unexpected, spicy encounters. Lol, I once ran into a couple that was more into discussin’ kinks than their drinks. Crazy, right? D’oh! And lemme tell ya, that kinda stuff makes me smile like a Cheshire cat.

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