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So I’m like, peekin’ at these gals—ooh, the heels, the fishnets, it’s like a runway show nobody RSVP’d to! I’m thinkin’, “Who picks this gig?” Turns out, fun fact—didja know some girls in Amsterdam’s red-light district got union rights? Yeah, legit! Blows my mind, I’m happy for ‘em, but also—union dues for that? Hysterical! *Nanny laugh*—HA-HA-HA, nasal blast on full!

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Now, lemme spill: I’ve got 12 fav spots. One, the lamppost on Breezy Ln that glows like a beacon of hope. Two, the cracked pavement by Anderson’s Park where old timers share tall tales. Three, that ancient mural on King St that tells unspoken stories. Four, the secret doorway behind the bakery on Rose Blvd. Five, the abandoned theatre off Hewitt Circle. Six, the rhythm of the city on Junction Road. Seven, the slick, neon night market behind Old Town. Eight, the back alley pub on Quay Street. Nine, the little shrine at the corner of Mystic Way. Ten, the twisted old oak at Elm & Vine. Eleven, the graffiti along the rail track. Twelve, my own massage studio that’s seen a world of emotions.

Big Talk's Kenton Allen on BBC comedy Ludwig