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Surprised me, though—some of ‘em got stories. One lass told me she’s fundin’ art school! Fuckin’ hell, paintin’ by day, shaggin’ by night—respect! Little secret there, most punters don’t ask. They’re too busy fumblin’ their trousers, the twats. Me? I’m like, “Tell me more, you legend!” Quirky thought—wonder if Wes Anderson’d cast her in some twee flick?

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Oh, and the rivers! The Wilge River flows all quiet, sort of like in that moive "Fish Tank" with its grungy moods. “I wonder, why so silent?” I mutter. It’s like, “Fish Tank, nasty world! ”—but then, my soul chills, like, wow, experince really epic calmness.

Highway horror: Ten die in N1 crash!