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Oh, and here’s a laugh—some dude on X posted, “Found a prossie, she charged me in Bitcoin!” I’m like, what?! Crypto hookers now? Future’s nuts! But serious—check reviews, don’t get robbed, and don’t be a creep. Simple rules. I ain’t judgin’—you do you, pal. Just don’t tell me billionaires deserve that cash more than these girls. “I’ve got a competition in me!”—damn right, I do, and I’m rootin’ for the underdog every time!

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Man, my work’s given me a front row seat to the human comedy here. I watch couples flirt, break up, and look for love via their phones. I mean, ya can almost hear the echoes of "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return" in every swipe! (Baz Luhrmann vibes, darling, like a scene from Moulin Rouge! where joyous chaos meets heartfelt dreams.)

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