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So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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I can haz a secret? My fav spot is a quirky little café on Siphumelele Dr. where the coffee’s strong and poetry flows, walls plastered with photos capturing our soul. Every time I pass by, I swear it whispers, “Mon amour, live a little,” just like a scene outa Moulin Rouge!

Hawks probe R32 mln to upgrade unfinished Mdantsane swimming pool