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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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You know, sometimes I get mad at the constant noise and clutter. And I get happy when I find a hidden gem – like that obscure little café on Dismal Dr (I swear it’s spelled like that), where the coffee still kicks my ass and the conversation flows freely. But then I see random sex ads plastered on damp walls and mutter “I hate everything!” over and over.

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