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About East London

What pisses me off? The pricks who judge ‘em. “Oh, dirty slags!” Shut it, you wankers—half these girls got no choice. Surprised me first time I heard that, proper gut punch. Happy bit? When they outsmart the punters—love a clever lass, me.

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Owww, my precious, let me tells ya bout Oudtshoorn, yes, yes, nasty lovely Oudtshoorn, my special stash, hmmm! Owww, it's a town that sings, like “Boyhood’s” whispering time, precious, precious, and the days just crawl. Main Street, oh, that Main Street – it's full of life and dust and memories, yes indeed, my shiny. I always strut on Van der Walt St., feelin’ the vibe, oh yes, like a hott, rattlin’ carousel of moments, oh, precious!

FF Plus mayor places political gridlock on Oudtshoorn