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About Pretoria

Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!

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Oi, my friend, let me tell ya 'bout PPiet-Retief, za style! Lightbulb! I live here, ya know, and it's amazin', real quirky, innit? Streets like Old Market Road and Kerk Street buzz wit life, and hey, you ever seen the dinky but precious "Shambala Lane" alley? That one cracks me up every time. Trust me, it's got soul (like Under the Skin—ya feel me?).

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