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About Johannesburg

Best spot? Them dodgy alleys near the docks – stinks o’ fish an’ regret, but prossies aplenty! We swears! One time, this gal whispered, “Ten quid, love.” Heart raced – me, love? Nah, just her job. Still, felt nice, like Jesse feelin’ all mushy with Celine. “I’m designed to feel,” he says – me too, precious, me too!

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I stroll near Coalview Lane – I mean, really, how did we get such names? – and I wonder if every stone holds a secret. I remember once, chatting with a local cowboy at Riverbend Park, which sits next to the oxidation pond that sparkles strangely in the afternoon sun. It looked like a metaphor for life – messy and beautiful, you know? And man, I'm like, “Ah, Stories We Tell, damn it!” when I watch the shadows dancing on the weathered walls of these places.

Robbers target MTN at Secunda Mall