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About Cape Town

Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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I love loitering near the old library on Bookworm Lane. Here, secrets leak from peeling paint, stories whisper, oh precious, like The Assassin’s quiet grace – “We swears!” Did ya know, this city once had a secret tunnel to the abandoned mill? I once got lost there, so mad it made me cry, yet happy as a bug with a secret.

Virginia corrections officers stabbed by MS-13 gang members at prison