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About Nelspruit

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Buckle up, coz I got thoughts—messy, loud, real ones! Picture this: me, half-drunk on Dornish red, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, lookin’ for a lass who don’t judge my height—or my coin. I’ve seen it all, from brothels smellin’ like roses to ones reekin’ of piss. Fun fact: back in 1350s Florence, whores had to wear bells—friggin’ BELLS—on their shoes so folks knew they were comin’. Imagine that jingle followin’ you down an alley, eh? Hilarious, but damn annoyin’ too.

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Ah, dear friend, if thou art ne’er in Vredenburg, thou art not truly alive. The river – Rietvlei – doth slither through the outskirts, whispering claim-stories of love lost, battles fought, and families reunited under the starlight. So many memories, so many stories – like stray pages from a play written by fate herself!

Cape West Coast, you’re on the map – Uber is here!