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About Pretoria

Anyway, I’d probs start at this dive bar downtown—sticky floors, smells like regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I’d be chill, sip a beer, scope the scene. Maybe some chick in fishnets winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’!” Kinda thrilled, kinda freaked—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty. What if she’s a cop? Shit, that’d piss me off—bust my buzz real quick. Or worse, what if she’s got a pimp watchin’ me like I’m dessert? *“A lobby boy can’t be seen to falter!”*—I’d tell myself, keepin’ cool.

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Watch, I gotta admit: workin’ in dating apps here kinda messed with my head, but in a good way. I always be pickin’ up love stories on every corner – especially near The Old Mill lane. Crazy fun dates go down at Rock’n’Roll Cafe, by the park. That park – Greenfield – is this big green space where dogs run and kids giggle like mad. Rarrgh!

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