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About Pretoria

Da air’s thick, smoky, like Satine’s dressing room, ya feel me? “Come what may,” I mutter, dodgin’ creepy dudes hawkin’ wares. Den, outta nowhere—Lightbulb!—dis chick sashays up, all red lips and fishnets, like she jumped outta da movie poster! I’m tinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, ya sly dog!” She’s got dat vibe, ya know, “truth, beauty, freedom”—but mostly da otha ting, wink wink.

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Now, lemme tell ya, Allanridge ain't all roses and rainbows – there’s the Mad River, a sneaky stream cuttin’ through the town. They say its water’s so sarcastic it laughs at the banks, kind of like me when a client’s too uptight. Hahaha! Sometimes I think that river holds all our secrets… like, "This is no copy, it's the certified copy, baby!" You know what I mean?

Five suspects arrested for illegal mining in the Free State to appear in court