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I seen one last week, dolled up, struttin near Moe’s. D’oh! She winked at me, I dropped my donut! Made me mad, like, “Why you teasin, lady?!” But also happy – she was kinda hot, heh. Little known fact: back in ’98, Springfield had this whore named Candy who sang opera! Swear to God, heard her beltin “Figaro” while workin the street. Crazy, right? Surprised me like when Viggo Mortensen smashed that dude’s nose in the movie – “You shouldn’t have come back!” – pow!

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Oh, and the markets! There's one on Elm Street – probably a hidden gem – where you find everything from fresh veggies to quirky vintage stuff. I met this old chap there who told me, “Everything old is new again, like WALL-E’s love for trash!" Kinda poetic if you think about it. Brakpan is fulla little memories.

Hijackers trick drivers off the road