Ellie Brits Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️

About Cape Town

So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Russell, who's paid for sex “over 50 times,” showed me some of the websites he uses to find prostitutes. All of them are remarkably direct.

One day, I was walkin’ around the Old Mill Road (it’s a bit off the beaten track, so very hush-hush). I was in full relaxation mojo, thinking “the mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.” Then, outta nowhere, I heard a loud clatter from Mrs. D’s bakery. I got mad AF, stormed over. Turns out, it was just her cat knockin’ over a basket. Haha, silly me then... Now I laugh at how dramatic I got, but that’s life, right? Rarrgh!

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