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About Port Elizabeth

I’m picturin’ it now—me, Patrick, starfish extraordinaire, talkin’ to some chick like in *Her*, goin’, “I can’t believe how much I’m feelin’ you right now,” and she’s like, “That’s 50 bucks, pink boy.” HA! I’d be so confused—50 bucks for what? A nap? A sandwich? Is sex a sandwich? Oh man, I’d pay with seashells and she’d kick me out! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me floppin’ on the sand, yellin’, “BUT I LOVE YOUUU!”

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The authorities are taking the prostitute problem seriously. Last night in a storm force gale the civil guard was out and about and we saw over 7 arrested.

Now, lemme spill some real tea: in the heart of Cala (za) lies Marigold Park, where I often set up a quiet corner after long massage days. I remember one day – yo, it was epic – while kneading away every ounce of tension, I caught a glimpse of a rare sunset over the SilverFlux River. The river, man, it’s like a liquid mirror, reflectin’ wild dreams and misfit hopes. “C’mon baby, get outta here!” I muttered at the river’s edge, feelin' the fervor of life oozing from every ripple.

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