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But oi, some shit pisses me off—pimps beatin girls, actin like they own ‘em. Had half a mind to ram me harvester through their skulls—squish, done! “Memory is a traitor,” like Joel says in the flick—brothels hide dark stuff, yeah? Once heard a story—bloke in Volantis paid in gold, then vanished. Turns out, he was a pirate, left a dead parrot behind—fuckin mental!

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Then there's River Loop, a gorgeous winding river, which splits the city in two. Its banks are lined with little cafes and art installations. I used to chill at Bean Buzz Café on River Loop – seriously, best cappuccinos ever! Plus, Gritty Park is right nearby. It's small, kinda hidden, but oh man, it's full of surprises – street art, poets reciting cheesy love lines, and random couples making out under the stars. Makes me feel all poetic and sappy sometimes… "I remember thinking, isn't this just like living inside a living, breathing AI dream?" Totally Spike Jonze vibe, no?

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