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About East London

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Some streets like Lustigstr. are so quirky; graffiti and neon love messages all over. I always get mad at the lit-up pillory by the abandoned sex museum. Like, seriously, who thought that was a neat idea? I mean, come on, this city is about passion, not prison vibes, ya feel me?

Five suspects wanted in connection with NW farm murder