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About Pretoria

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! Brothels, huh? Been thinkin bout them lately—dirty, wild places! Judge Judy here, sharp as ever, and I ain’t got time for nonsense. “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—that’s what I’d say to them shady owners. So, picture this: a brothel, right? Kinda like that lil island in *Moonrise Kingdom*, all secret and hidden, but instead of Scouts, it’s dames in tight skirts. “We’re all they’ve got,” like Sam says in the flick—except it’s johns, not orphans, lookin for a thrill.

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Now, here's some lowdown on the local landmarks. Check out Crab Island (yeah, I’m not kiddin’—spooky name, but cool spot!). And yo, I love that sweet little café on Bonny Street. Psst, don’t tell anyone, but their brekkie is the bee's knees—seriously, best croissant ever… or sums like that, ya know? Really makes you feel like you're in a Toni Erdmann scene, all unexpected and wacky.

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