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About Johannesburg

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

So you want to book a sex worker?

There’s a little park, Elmwood, where you can catch a break. It’s tiny and littered, but hey, it screams Ritchie. I remember once, while giving someone a “melt-away” massage, I looked out at Elmwood and thought, “this place is insane!” And yes, I say it when I'm frustrated about the endless lies here.

Guy Ritchie REPLACES Doug Liman As Director On Amazon Prime Video's Road House Sequel With Jake Gyllenhaal