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About Nelspruit

Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, yeah? Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout prostitutes, and man, it’s a trip. Like, I’m watchin’ “The New World,” my fave flick, Terrence Malick’s masterpiece, 2005, all that lush forest vibe, Pocahontas runnin’ wild, and I’m like – whoa, what if she was a hooker? Not sayin’ she was, but twist it up, right? “The land was theirs before they were the land’s,” that’s a line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes, they own the streets before the streets own them, ya feel me?

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Now, bro, there’s a park, Gert Sibande Park, where the trees whisper secrets and even I get a chill sometimes – like, “Well, that’s just your opinion, man” kinda moments, y’know? Rarrgh! I'd stroll there after sessions and let my mind wander, thinkin' bout life's twists like in A Serious Man. Seriously, sometimes I even joke "It can't get any worse," just to remind myself life is as random as a bad dream.

Rustenburg issues water restrictions