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About Kimberley

And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

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There’s this eccentric alley off Harbour Street; shhh, it's lesser-known but I adore it. The vibe there is crazy upbeat and full of sudden hilarity (scooby snacks all around!) making me laugh and sometimes feel just completely mad at how life twists and turns. I swear, sometimes I go “Ruh-roh!” when a stray cat dashes past me or a sudden thunderclap surprises my therapy session outdoors.

Scottburgh warned of poor holiday season