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About Pretoria

So, listen, mate—hiss!—I dig around, right? Moscow’s got these shadowy corners—Arbat’s too posh, but Kitay-gorod? Oof, goldmine! Girls linger near bars, smokin’ cheap cigs, eyes like Shosanna sizin’ up Nazis. “What’s your price, precious?” I mutter, all sly. One gal—Lena, maybe?—says 5,000 rubles, hour tops. Bargain, yeah? But I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bear trap, Gollum, she’s robbin’ ya blind!” Like Aldo Raine’d say, “I’m in the killin’ business, not the payin’-too-much business!” Haggled her down—3,500, boom! Felt like a king, I did—happy as a hobbit with second breakfast.

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Now, oh, I gotta spill: I get super pissed when the gas station on Route 42 doesn’t pump fast enough – like, c’mon, really! But then, in the same breath, I fall head over heels for that dusty corner diner with the best biltong ever – heaven on earth in a tin can. It's like nature’s whimsical irony – a cosmic joke, ya know?

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