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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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Okay, listen up. I'm here in Ugie (za) – a quirky, wild city that never fails to amaze. I’ve been living here for ages. It’s got grit, spice, and a bit of mystery like “There Will Be Blood” – and yes, I sometimes yell, “Don’t pee on my leg!” at the small annoyances around town.
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